Is it time to kick the kids out of the house?

Dear Friends,

Moving out at eighteen is a fairly recent, definitely cultural idea, one which regardless of the spiritual implications makes no economic or ecological sense. Does every eighteen-year-old need his own stove and refrigerator? How many square feet of housing are wasted on a solitary individual when the more prudent solution is to share? Why are some people getting their knickers in a knot over the emissions of cows while ignoring the massive impact this exodus of young people has on carbon footprints?

There seems to be a campaign afoot among relatives and friends to boot our adult children out of our home. Apparently living at home makes them half child, half adult. Forget that these same “quasi-adults” have been working for Timberdoodle since they were old enough to toddle down the aisle and stock the shelves. With those Timberdoodle paychecks, they have engaged in some very adult-like behavior, such as purchasing all their clothes, sports equipment, and gifts. They have managed a mini-farm and funded the construction of several outbuildings and the installation of chain-link fencing. They have paid their share of every family vacation, bought their own furniture, contributed to numerous family projects, financed the building of fresh water wells overseas, and purchased and given us over five acres of timbered land. They have bought cars, managed their own cell phones, invested in CDs and stocks, and even bankrolled the family food budget. Aside from their jobs at Timberdoodle they are also trained EMTs and respond to over 400 emergency calls a year, ranging from false alarms and fall injuries to amputations and gunshot wounds. These are not coddled kids.

But unlike many of their peers who are living away from home, these adults are kept accountable. Our opinion is that young adults who spend huge amounts of time living alone tend to cater to the flesh, and those who cut off family accountability will have a harder time serving a spouse when the time comes. On the other hand, those adults who choose to remain in the home will always have more than enough opportunities for sanctification.

Because we are so clearly made for community, David, in Psalm 68, celebrates that “God settles the solitary in a home.” We love our kids and know that our responsibility before God does not end when they turn eighteen. As we rub shoulders at the warehouse and share laughter at the office, we know we are blessed to have the opportunity to enjoy each other every day. This Thanksgiving, may your family enjoy the richness of a community life that is unique to families.

Dan, Deb, Joy, Hope, Grace, Abel, and Pearl

P.S. Not surprisingly, this is an issue that can raise a very good discussion. For instance, we all know adults who live at home simply to avoid responsibility and sponge off Mom and Dad. (I hope it’s obvious that we are not advocating that!) But what do you think? What is your family’s approach? If you haven’t faced this situation yet, what are your plans? We encourage you to comment below and join the discussion!